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 Divorced and ex is moving
joemama74  [Team Member]
2/5/2012 7:59:54 PM
Before I go drop $500 on a lawyer consultation, do I have any legal recourse if I have 50/50 joint custody and my ex moves to another county?

Basically kids stay at same school because of where I live. At this new place, they drive an hour to take my daughter to her school. I don't feel it's in her best interest to do that.

There are other problems because of the distance, but this was not addressed in the divorce decree.

2nd time my daughter has come to my house with lice in her hair today too.
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txinvestigator  [Team Member]
2/5/2012 8:13:43 PM
Unless your order directs her not to move you would have to go back to court.
CopM4  [Member]
2/5/2012 10:46:35 PM
.....nothing you can do - at this point

As TXInvestigator mentioned, unless it is in the current decree,,,you would have to go back to court
to have it amended. You might have joint conservatorship - but who is the primary conservator?

Head lice - twice, could be a sign of negelct to me but in all Family Law cases 'Clear and Convincing Evidence" prevails
to show negelct to a Family Law Judge.

Link for more info
Tboy  [Member]
2/5/2012 11:24:50 PM
Expect to spend $$$$ if you want to fight.
joemama74  [Team Member]
2/5/2012 11:32:53 PM
Originally Posted By Tboy:
Expect to spend $$$$ if you want to fight.


Yeah, but she just got fired again. Filed bankruptcy last year and rented out the house and did not report the income (they don't know she moved).

Now might be the best time to invest.
SC-Texas  [Team Member]
2/6/2012 12:39:58 AM
It depends on several factors.

Does your order have a geographical restriction?

How much money do you want to spend to fight it?

Is your wife habitually violating other terms of the order?

Is this move affecting your Childs performance at school?
txinvestigator  [Team Member]
2/6/2012 1:10:42 AM
Originally Posted By SC-Texas:
It depends on several factors.

Does your order have a geographical restriction?

How much money do you want to spend to fight it?

Is your wife habitually violating other terms of the order?

Is this move affecting your Childs performance at school?


I really hope the courts consider that last point. Thanks

I am amazed at what we adults do to our kids.

cvanbrunt  [Team Member]
2/6/2012 10:54:09 AM
The way my decree is written states that either myself or my ex wife can move to any county contiguous to Tarrant, other than that we have to have written consent from the other.

I would base my decision to fight or not based on the effects it would have on my child...only you can make that decision.
cheetah577  [Team Member]
2/6/2012 12:09:42 PM
Most decrees allow moving within the county or any county contiguous to the resident county, in your case, Tarrant. Because this is not a full-blown divorce, you might get by with less cost. I hope this helps.
joemama74  [Team Member]
2/6/2012 1:19:02 PM
The only geographical part is that my daughter must attend school in Dallas Co and my ex can pick the school.

Right now she's in a DISD montessori school, which is free and probably one of the best elementary schools in DISD I could put her into without paying.

I damn sure don't want that screwed up, because she's done really well there. She reads at like 6th grade level and she's in the 2nd grade.
Barman84  [Member]
2/6/2012 4:12:59 PM
Like everyone else has already stated geographical restrictions my friend. I had the same problem with my ex before we were even divorced she upped and disappeared to another state. Good thing I had already filed or I might not have ever saw my daughter again. She was forced to come back to town and in our divorce the judge not me nor my attorney put her restricition to Tarrant Counyt and no where else. usually its the county you filed in and joint counties IE they have to touch the one she was originally in. If she breaks that you get custody as well as child support. By the way if she is remarried and filing taxes jointly they will go off that income combined for child support the second time around ask me how I know that one.
joemama74  [Team Member]
2/6/2012 5:15:49 PM
Originally Posted By Barman84:
If she breaks that you get custody as well as child support. By the way if she is remarried and filing taxes jointly they will go off that income combined for child support the second time around ask me how I know that one.


Yeah, I got a pretty good deal to start with. 50/50 custody, no child support, I have to pick up their health insurance now that she doesn't have a job, but that's like $160/month. She's bipolar and I got her to agree on a rational day.

The other issue we have is income taxes. She screwed us up on that while we were still together and didn't file through QuickBooks properly. We owed some money and paid what we could, but it took a year to figure out that essentially she didn't file it. So last year she claimed the kids, got $2500 back, but the IRS took all that to paid what we owed. I think we still owe $2200, so if she claims them again this year, they'll take that money too, so she still gets peanuts.

Next year I want to to split it. Claim one kid each, especially if I'm paying the insurance.

r-2-k-b-a  [Member]
2/7/2012 10:41:37 AM
Originally Posted By joemama74:
Before I go drop $500 on a lawyer consultation, do I have any legal recourse if I have 50/50 joint custody and my ex moves to another county?

Basically kids stay at same school because of where I live. At this new place, they drive an hour to take my daughter to her school. I don't feel it's in her best interest to do that.

There are other problems because of the distance, but this was not addressed in the divorce decree.

2nd time my daughter has come to my house with lice in her hair today too.




A CONSULT should not cost $500, even from a good lawyer, in my view.

But if that is the 'norm' these days, is your children's future worth $500? I think so.

If the lawyers you pick for the consult, are also worth using for your case then likely it's worthwhile.
captexas  [Team Member]
2/7/2012 3:57:15 PM
Originally Posted By r-2-k-b-a:
Originally Posted By joemama74:
Before I go drop $500 on a lawyer consultation, do I have any legal recourse if I have 50/50 joint custody and my ex moves to another county?

Basically kids stay at same school because of where I live. At this new place, they drive an hour to take my daughter to her school. I don't feel it's in her best interest to do that.

There are other problems because of the distance, but this was not addressed in the divorce decree.

2nd time my daughter has come to my house with lice in her hair today too.




A CONSULT should not cost $500, even from a good lawyer, in my view.

But if that is the 'norm' these days, is your children's future worth $500? I think so.

If the lawyers you pick for the consult, are also worth using for your case then likely it's worthwhile.


I spent 2 years in and out of court fighting for custody of my son a few years ago. Many lawyers offer free initial consultations. Ask around to see if anyone you know has dealt with a good lawyer in your area. Keep in mind that they may tell you what you want to hear during those consultations to get your business and then slowly change their tune as things progress after you've paid them. This was the case with my lawyer. He came across as being tough and had steps all lined out during the consultation, but then when things started, he softened his stance on a lot of issues. Also keep in mind that family law cases can get very expensive so be prepared for financial and emotional stress if it turns into legal battle. If your kids are at risk, then it is all worth it in the end. I'd suggest working out a payment plan with any lawyer you go with that way you don't give them all your money up front and then can't get it back if you decide you want to change to a different lawyer. I paid up front for costs of going to a possible week of jury trial and then the day it was supposed to start a deal was worked out so no trial was needed. I never got any of that money back.

joemama74  [Team Member]
2/7/2012 5:30:45 PM
Yeah, I did an initial consultation with a lawyer the first time. Ran me a $1k for two 1 hour meetings that never helped me legally. She was quoting $5k to start, 10 - 15 for a trial, even then, she was like 50/50 chances depending on the judge.

In the end, it cost me $500 for our agreement, without going to court, without letting a judge decide. The problem is that the mutual congeniality has gone out the window now.
alias2  [Member]
2/7/2012 7:18:51 PM
Has she been clinically diagnosed as being bi polar? Your child coming home with head lice, something this country hasn't dealt with since the Depression until they opened the borders, is also an issue the judge should know. Hope it's a smooth parting.
Tboy  [Member]
2/7/2012 7:19:43 PM
Originally Posted By joemama74:
Yeah, I did an initial consultation with a lawyer the first time. Ran me a $1k for two 1 hour meetings that never helped me legally. She was quoting $5k to start, 10 - 15 for a trial, even then, she was like 50/50 chances depending on the judge.

In the end, it cost me $500 for our agreement, without going to court, without letting a judge decide. The problem is that the mutual congeniality has gone out the window now.


Sorry for your situation but it is best to get an attorney NOW. From what I've been told, all your ex has to do is go the the AG and request child support payments (after the fact).
captexas  [Team Member]
2/7/2012 9:59:31 PM
Originally Posted By joemama74:
Yeah, I did an initial consultation with a lawyer the first time. Ran me a $1k for two 1 hour meetings that never helped me legally. She was quoting $5k to start, 10 - 15 for a trial, even then, she was like 50/50 chances depending on the judge.

In the end, it cost me $500 for our agreement, without going to court, without letting a judge decide. The problem is that the mutual congeniality has gone out the window now.


Sounds like you got ripped off a bit. Unfortunately, the court systems and everything attached to them are still rather biased towards the mother in custody cases. If your children are at risk, it shouldn't be no 50/50 chance though as long as you can prove some of the issues. You need to be documenting everything possible - incidents, phone conversations, any violations of the current agreement, etc. If you can't get 100% custody, you should try to get split custody with you being the primary custodian which means you get to choose where the kids reside. And get real rules in place in the agreement as far as visitation and how it is affected by the distance between the two parents. Check out the following site, there may be some info on there to help you.

National Fathers Resource Center

joemama74  [Team Member]
2/7/2012 11:46:41 PM
Originally Posted By alias2:
Has she been clinically diagnosed as being bi polar? Your child coming home with head lice, something this country hasn't dealt with since the Depression until they opened the borders, is also an issue the judge should know. Hope it's a smooth parting.


Does committing yourself to Green Oaks for manic episodes and prescription drug addiction count?
SC-Texas  [Team Member]
2/8/2012 12:43:54 AM
Originally Posted By joemama74:
Originally Posted By alias2:
Has she been clinically diagnosed as being bi polar? Your child coming home with head lice, something this country hasn't dealt with since the Depression until they opened the borders, is also an issue the judge should know. Hope it's a smooth parting.


Does committing yourself to Green Oaks for manic episodes and prescription drug addiction count?


This depends on the severity, the affect it is having on the child and whether she is still using and abusing.

It also depends on the court n the judge.

joemama74  [Team Member]
2/8/2012 10:30:17 AM
Originally Posted By SC-Texas:
Originally Posted By joemama74:
Originally Posted By alias2:
Has she been clinically diagnosed as being bi polar? Your child coming home with head lice, something this country hasn't dealt with since the Depression until they opened the borders, is also an issue the judge should know. Hope it's a smooth parting.


Does committing yourself to Green Oaks for manic episodes and prescription drug addiction count?


This depends on the severity, the affect it is having on the child and whether she is still using and abusing.

It also depends on the court n the judge.



This sounds like the advice I got from the first lawyer. Thanks though.

She's pretty quick to dump the kids on me though. During their 2 week Christmas break, she only wanted them about 2.5 days. My 2 year old son really knows how to push her buttons. He's like the energizer bunny crossed with mayhem. If it comes down to anything, it will be money.
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